You feel like everyone sees it. Your mom (or loved one) needs help. She’s strong and says she’s fine, but you can hear it in her voice. It’s been tough since your dad passed away. You worry about her safety, eating habits and mental health. Every time you bring up the idea of change, any change, she “digs her heels in” and refuses to talk about it.
Seniors feel loss in a variety of ways, not just the loss of independence: loss of friends and family, loss of health, loss of strength, or loss of a job or a feeling that they are needed. These compounded losses play a significant role in the desire to stay in control.
Younger people tend to look to the future to fill the voids of loss (a move, a job, a friend, an older family member. ) That is harder for seniors. Some of their losses are irreplaceable in the future they see for themselves. Since they recognize they can’t control these losses, they will fight for control in other circumstances.
When we are young and don’t feel good, we put off making important decisions until we feel better. Many seniors are dealing with chronic pain or fatigue and would like to put it off. BUT an internal conflict arises because they know they can’t wait to make decisions because they may never feel better than they do now. This often results in stubborn refusal to do anything.
For more tips on how to communicate with reluctant seniors, schedule a call with Jill.