You opened this blog post, which tells me something about you: You’re thinking about downsizing. Maybe you’re thinking about doing so in the next year or in the next ten years; regardless, I’m glad you’re here. Here’s why…
Thinking about downsizing can be even harder than actually doing it (you know, decluttering, packing boxes, cleaning, moving, etc.). The doing part might feel overwhelming, but I’ll break that down into bite-sized pieces for you in a future blog. Let’s not get the cart before the horse.
Today, I challenge you to think about downsizing. I’d like you to name the fears that bubble up as you open your mind to the possibility. Then, we’re going to put those fears to the fire. Are they helping you or hurting you? For those fears that are in your way, I’ll offer some practical actions to help you overcome them sooner rather than later.
I hope I didn’t lose you at “sooner rather than later.”
Rest assured; reading this blog doesn’t mean that I’m going to show up on your doorstep with empty boxes. The reason I reference any urgency at all is because I want your choice to downsize to be just that… a choice..
Think of it like a “get to” versus a “have to.” You get to downsize on your terms, instead of having to downsize in a chaotic flurry of a crisis (often a health-related surprise).
Ready or not, friends… let’s face your fears.
To start, I think it’s helpful to address Fear directly. (Yes, I’m personifying Fear for a moment!)
An open letter to Fear.
Fear, you stink.
You’re sneaky. You’re deceitful. And, you get in our way.
Ok, a teenie-tiny bit of you can be helpful at times. The right dose can keep us safe. But most of the time? You way overdo it.
You don’t show up all of a sudden, so we fail to notice your presence. Instead, you build up bit by bit over time. It’s hard to know if you’re rational or if you’re just in our way. Most of the time, it’s the latter.
And, boy do you hate change.
So, you try to keep us stuck… paralyzed by indecision.
What’s that you like to tell us? Oh, right, “Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know.”
Sayings like that make us push off difficult topics for another day, and then another, until years later, we’re still stuck right where you left us.
But not today, Fear! Today, we are reclaiming our control! This is the time in our lives we’ve worked hard to enjoy. It’s the time when we get to say “goodbye” to so much stress and “hello” to a whole lot more freedom. You won’t be getting in our way.
Sincerely,
Us (Jill and all my downsize-exploring friends!)
Now that that’s out of our system, let’s address the five big fears clients encounter all the time.
The 5 Most Common Fears that Get in the Way of Downsizing
Fear #1: Fear of Change
It’s natural to be fearful of change!
Change is scary, but it doesn’t mean it’s bad. Think about, for example, an ambitious, talented person you know who stayed in a job they hated. It was probably hard to understand why they didn’t just find a better fit for their skills and abilities. From the outside looking in, it might feel crazy that they settled for the status quo just because they were afraid to break out of their comfort zone. But we’ve all been stuck in fear at one point or another! I know I have.
Unfortunately, many seniors stay in their homes because, despite the inconveniences, familiarity is comforting. Memories of times gone by are associated with the place they live, and the prospect of leaving that all behind is a difficult pill to swallow.
A new adventure, proximity to family, maintenance worries, health issues, loneliness, transportation concerns, and financial considerations are all rational reasons to downsize. However, just because the reasons are logical, doesn’t mean the change will be emotionally easy. Fear starts creeping in, mental questions start forming that are hard to ignore.
- Why would I want to leave something familiar for something unfamiliar?
- What if I wake up in the middle of the night and don’t know where I am?
- Can I finish my grocery shopping easily in a store I am not familiar with?
- Will my current friends keep in touch if I move away?
Try this to start overcoming your fear of change:
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Fear #2: Fear of the Process
When you think about downsizing, are these questions popping into your mind, too?
- Am I physically and mentally prepared to move?
- What do I have to do to get my house ready to sell?
- Where will I go?
- What am I going to do with all my stuff?
If so, you probably have some fear about the process.
This is normal, too. Like I said at the top of this post, the actual downsizing is the easiest part! Here’s a tip to help you keep this fear in check.
| Try this practice exercise to start overcoming your fear of the process: Choose a bedroom and make decisions about everything ON TOP OF one flat surface, like your bedside table or dresser. Make a definitive choice about everything on that surface—will you keep it, give it away, or throw it away? If you choose to keep something, find a home for it immediately. Then, donate or throw away the other items immediately.
This will probably take you five minutes or less. When you’ve finished, celebrate! We’re working on writing yet another blog post to help. If you’re on our email list, you’ll get it automatically. If you’re not, click here to join. |
Fear #3: Fear of Loss
Maybe you’re the kind of person who has these questions rolling through their mind late at night…
- Will I miss my house?
- Will I miss my friends?
- Will I miss walking around my neighborhood?
- What if this is a mistake?
If you do, you may fear losing memories that are precious to you.
This one tugs at the heartstrings, I know. Here’s the truth: The memories from your past are connected to you, not your house or your possessions. Here’s a strategy I like to use to help reframe this fear into opportunity.
| Try this to start overcoming your fear of loss: Practice gratitude.
Practicing gratitude doesn’t always come naturally, but it gets easier with practice. Being intentional about naming the abundance in your life has the natural consequence of leaving less room for the fear of scarcity. Instead of this: I am giving so much away. Try thinking about it this way: I have everything I need. If you need help, we’re working on writing yet another blog post to help. If you’re on our email list, you’ll get it automatically. If you’re not, click here to join. |
Fear #4: Fear of Costs
Perhaps you are a highly practical person and your questions sound more like this:
- Will I have enough income?
- How much will it cost me to move?
- How much will my costs increase over time?
- How does pricing work at the senior community I am considering?
If so, a fear of costs is probably holding you back. This one is less about fear and more about unanswered questions. We can overcome this one with just a bit of research!
| Try this to start overcoming your fear of costs: As you think about your future, write down the expenses you know for certain. For those that you don’t, write them down anyway, and add a question mark. Once you have on paper what you know you don’t know, you can begin to seek answers from trusted friends and professionals. Plus, stay tuned! We’re actively working on writing a blog post on this topic. If you’re on our email list, you’ll get it automatically. If you’re not, click here to join. |
Fear #5: Fear of Dependence
May I be honest? These questions might be the hardest to swallow…
- Will I be letting others make decisions for me?
- Will someone be checking in on me constantly?
- Am I losing control?
- Will I be living too close to other people?
- Am I still going to be independent?
When you’re thriving independently, it is painful to think about a time when you may need more help. The good news is, you probably won’t lose your independence overnight (or you may never lose it at all!). There are communities where you can get the support you need, and only when you actually need it. It simply takes some early planning to remain in control of your future.
| Try this to start overcoming your fear of dependence: Take an afternoon and go to a peaceful place. This could be on your front porch or across town at a local park. Bring a journal and a pen. Then, once you’re comfortable, ponder this question: “If I reach a point when I am not the best person to make decisions for my life, who do I want to help?” Then answer this, “What do I want that person to know?” If this task feels too daunting right now, don’t worry. We’re working on writing yet another blog post to help. If you’re on our email list, you’ll get it automatically. If you’re not, click here to join. |
Feeling a little freer?
Maybe not yet, but give these tips a try and follow along as I release new blog posts. I consider it my life’s mission to help you through this.
If you’re ready to face your fears head first and start a personalized downsizing conversation with me now, I welcome it! I’m Jill Hart, and I am an organizing & real estate professional who specializes in downsizing.
When you work with me one-on-one, you can expect to:
- Get a plan. No matter how simple or complex your circumstances, we can help you confidently prepare for whatever’s next.
- Get a team. Between our in-house team of specialists & our roster of incredible vendors—we have you covered!
- Get on with your life! This change may feel like a lot at first, but we promise to get you seamlessly settled into a hopeful tomorrow.
Simply click here to schedule a discovery call with me to explore my services. It’s free and you won’t ever feel pressured to work with me. I’m here to serve. Thanks for reading!
| Is it time to downsize? This 3-minute downsizing quiz will help you uncover insights into your emotional attachment, organizational skills, and future planning. Don’t leave your next chapter to chance—let’s get started together by gaining clarity on your downsizing journey! Click here to take the quiz. |
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hi, I’m Jill Hart.
Back to my earliest memories with my grandmother, I’ve always had a desire to be around those living out the later chapters of their lives. That said, it made sense that my love for real estate didn’t really grab hold until I figured out I could use my skills to help this familiar population. Especially since, during a season of downsizing, support is a must!
I quickly realized that my clients didn’t just need to find different places to live or to sell their homes; they needed to make tough decisions about what to keep and what to share. They needed to organize, pack, and deliver donations. They needed to clean, make updates, and get ready to sell. Plus, they needed to do all this while managing their family’s feelings and opinions (and their own).
That’s why I built this business. We take care of planning, organizing, hauling, and cleaning, and we mix in more traditional real estate services when our clients need them. No matter your circumstances (or fears!), we make downsizing a whole lot easier.
Click Here to Schedule a Discovery Call
Learn more at silverpathwayshome.com.