How is life going? You may be in the sweet spot now, nearing or enjoying retirement, witnessing the successful lives of your children, and enjoying more time with friends or grandchildren.
When things are going well, it may be hard to imagine a time when you won’t be able to (or no longer want to) maintain your home; however, downsizing is a reality for most of us who have the privilege of living a long life.
By now, you have likely accumulated a lifetime of “stuff.” In fact, if you’re like most, you have an attic, garage, and basement full of sentimental belongings, seasonal decor, and other miscellaneous items.
Fair warning: The process of sorting through all that “stuff” can be overwhelming, both physically and emotionally. The good news is, there are things you can do to make it easier.
| In this post, we’re discussing the emotional challenges of decluttering.
Stay tuned for the next post, which will dive deeper into logistics and planning! |
Change can be a tough pill to swallow.
The emotional challenges of decluttering tend to stem from a fear of change.
Change is tough at any stage in life. Think about when your children started a new school year or when you or your spouse started a new job. There’s a window of time when life is a little (or a lot) harder than it was before the change occurred. I like to think of it as growing pains—that achiness you felt in your bones before you sprung up an inch or two as an adolescent. The result of growing pains was good, but the process took a toll on you.
Our brains remember that time and all the other painful changes (good and bad) that have happened since then. This makes us naturally inclined to avoid pain, which is a good thing most of the time. Pain avoidance nudges us to take steps slowly when our feet are wet so we don’t fall and break a bone; it reminds us to curl our fingers in when we’re chopping food to avoid cutting the skin.
Sometimes, though, those alarm bells can get in the way, like when we think about changing our environment.
It will be hard!
It will be scary!
It will be painful!
Abort!
Abort!
Abort!
The thing is, just like growing pains resulted in a good outcome, changing your environment as you age can be incredibly positive. Change could mean a new adventure, living closer to family, eliminating maintenance worries, getting help with health issues, overcoming loneliness, bypassing transportation concerns, and protecting cash reserves.
If you feel the fear of change standing in the way of an open mind, I recommend that you:
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Three truths of downsizing.
It’s never too early to begin the process of decluttering.
Crises happen, and you don’t want to leave your loved ones to handle your things if you need to move suddenly. Just remember: decluttering tells your brain that change may be coming (even if it’s not for a while), and our old buddy, Fear of Change, may bring along his friends: Fear of Losing Memories, Fear of Making Mistakes, and Fear of Hurting Feelings.
When the Army of Fear shows up, be prepared to reframe your thoughts. Remember these three truths about downsizing.
- You are not your stuff. When you downsize and purge, you are not erasing history. You are honoring the past without burdening the future. Allowing these objects to find new owners is a way of helping someone else or giving them joy.
Helpful reminder: Most people do not miss the things they give away once they are gone. If anyone is going to give or discard your belongings, it should be you. - Memories are not material. You may be afraid that if you lose an object you will lose the memory, but this simply isn’t true. Think about the ugly tie, still in the box, that your son gave you for Father’s Day 28 years ago. You don’t need to keep the tie to remember your son. There is a very good chance he doesn’t even remember giving it to you!
Pro tip: If an object reminds you of a memory, jot down a note and take a picture of the item, then use those notes as daily journal prompts to record your thoughts. By just looking at an old tie, your family would never know that it makes you think of the cute, yet unruly wrapping job your son did that year for Father’s Day. But they can get the whole story if you write it down for them and include it with a photo. The story is what matters; not the tie. - Treasures should be a consistent part of our life. Rather than focusing on all the things you need to let go of, make a mental shift and focus on what to keep.
Try this strategy: Empty a closet or dresser and only keep the things you love and/or use. Sell, donate, or discard the rest. The things in your keep pile should be what you will proudly use and display. If an item doesn’t fit that criteria, you can let it go.
It may be helpful to keep this list of questions handy as you declutter the first few spaces. You can use them as a filter for your decision-making.
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The more you sort and downsize, the easier it gets.
If you think you are years away from a move, you still need to practice letting go. At a minimum, start getting rid of things you don’t use. Start in the garage or basement, because those are usually the easiest places to find unused items that can be rehomed. Then, focus on one room or closet at a time.
The truth is, people cling to their belongings out of avoidance, exhaustion, and a false belief that the next generation wants what they have.
The next blog post I send you will give you practical suggestions on how to sort and organize your belongings to free up time, space, and mental energy.
| One final tip: When you enlist the help of family and friends as you declutter, you’re actually making new memories! Talk about memories as you sort, and maybe even have someone jot notes down as you share (remember can use those notes to prompt journal entries). The process of decluttering actually provides an opportunity to share our old memories, so start it now, and do it often. You can do this! |
Do you need some help?
I’m Jill Hart, and I am an organizing & real estate professional who specializes in downsizing. If you need someone in your corner to get the ball rolling or to get a project across the finish line, please reach out.
When you work with me one-on-one, you can expect to:
- Get a plan. No matter how simple or complex your circumstances, we can help you confidently prepare for whatever’s next.
- Get a team. Between our in-house team of specialists & our roster of incredible vendors—we have you covered!
- Get on with your life! This change may feel like a lot at first, but we promise to get you seamlessly settled into a hopeful tomorrow.
Simply click here to schedule a discovery call with me to explore my services. It’s free, and you won’t ever feel pressured to work with me. I’m here to serve!
| Is it time to downsize? This 3-minute downsizing quiz will help you uncover insights into your emotional attachment, organizational skills, and future planning. Don’t leave your next chapter to chance—let’s get started together by gaining clarity on your downsizing journey! Click here to take the quiz. |
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hi, I’m Jill Hart.
Back to my earliest memories with my grandmother, I’ve always had a desire to be around those living out the later chapters of their lives. That said, it made sense that my love for real estate didn’t really grab hold until I figured out I could use my skills to help this familiar population. Especially since, during a season of downsizing, support is a must!
I quickly realized that my clients didn’t just need to find different places to live or to sell their homes; they needed to make tough decisions about what to keep and what to share. They needed to organize, pack, and deliver donations. They needed to clean, make updates, and get ready to sell. Plus, they needed to do all this while managing their family’s feelings and opinions (and their own).
That’s why I built this business. We take care of planning, organizing, hauling, and cleaning, and we mix in more traditional real estate services when our clients need them. No matter your circumstances (or fears!), we make downsizing a whole lot easier.
Click Here to Schedule a Discovery Call
Learn more at silverpathwayshome.com.